Miles from Nowhere

I feel paralyzed, deaf, blind, and hotter than hell. For the moment I don't know where I was, or where I was going... or where I am. As I regain my senses it feels like someone dropped me out of a plane and into Death Valley. My face is burning, at least one side of it. I can hear the others moaning.

"Fuck me running." I straighten up to a sitting position and shield my eyes. It is so bright that I can't see a damn thing.

"Holy shit... are we dead?" Lou tries to look at me through shaded eyes, but has to cover them.
"Hot, hot, hot." Mike brushes the soil off of his legs and feet and then tucks them beneath him under the robe.
"Phew... that's better. These robe thingies shield this heat, don't ya think?"

We follow his lead and before long each of us has their legs tucked under the robe. All except Ollie, who is still out of it.

"Ollie... come on, big boy, time to get up." Lou calls to him. He picks up a small stone and takes aim. Right then I see an eye barely open.
"Don't do it, Lou." I put my hand up.
"Ollie, better sit up and get your legs up under that robe before you fry yourself."

The big Aztec sits up and nearly topples over the other direction. As he steadies himself with his hands he lifts them immediately as though he had set them down on a hot grill.
"Caliente!"
"No shit."

As we sit, our vision collectively becomes better until we can actually look at each other and our surroundings without shielding our eyes. We are not on the boat, that's for sure. It looks and feels like high desert. Could be Nevada, or Arizona. Scrub, rocky in areas, a craggy mountain range juts into the sky in the distance. I am processing this and come up with an answer as I spot the stubble of saguaro cactus in the distance.

"Arizona... Sonoran desert." Lou interjects, "Saguaro don't grow in Nevada."
There he goes again, thinking what I'm thinking.
"Knock that shit off."
"What, Nancy, you don't think I've been places?"
"No, I know you're an idiot."
"Crabby fuck."

Andy gets to his feet and stands in the shade cast by his robe.
"Does anybody else wonder how in the hell we get here?" He steps from foot to foot for a moment or two.

We all look down at the Clarok sitting in the middle of our calming circle. It looks dirty and dull, like the life is gone from it. On the ship it looked like a shining museum exhibit. Now it looks like it has been laying here on the desert floor for centuries. Mike reaches out and gives it a little jiggle.
"Well... I guess it works."

As we digest that simple statement we look around. It is hot, probably high nineties, maybe even in the hundreds. I know, don't say it, but it is a dry heat. One that you feel when you breath in. We are in a broad valley between two rocky outcroppings. Not really part of the mountains in the distance.

I stand and do the foot to foot thing. The ground is hot and from the looks of our surroundings there is no relief.
"We can't stay out here."
The rest of the guys stand. For a moment it looks like a lame disco, foot to foot. All we need is some finger snaps and a little hip movement.

Antonelli scoots some of the dull sunset colored earth at his feet. He takes a step and pulls his foot up quickly.
"Oh hell no, we can't step on this shit. Even if it wasn't hot... it's like walking on broken glass."

"Pussies." Lou looks around, hand shading his eyes like a constant salute. When he sees what he is looking for he starts off. I know he is burning his feet, has to be, but he won't cry out or show pain. He steps out about forty or fifty feet to a squat cactus.

"That's a barrel cactus."
He ignores my call and looks around at his feet. When he spots what he is looking for he picks up a large, sharp rock and goes about uprooting the beachball sized plant. Once he has it up, he flips it over and works on the underside of it, the one without any needles. He splits it open, scooping out the stiff pulp and setting it aside.

"So what the hell is he doing?" Andy has that familiar sour look on his face.
"I... don't know. You can get moisture from that pulp, it actually stores water that way."
"So, he's thirsty?"
"Hell, I don't know." I shake my head and call out to Lou, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Nothing, he just keeps on working.

"Well, he's not answering."
Andy just looks at me.

Lou breaks each half into two pieces, then goes about stripping the spines off of the outside. When he is done with the outside he takes the sharpest edge of the rock and cuts three long strips of the hull, leaving them connected at the front.

"Maybe he's making something to eat." Mike says, watching him cutting the thin strips from the edge of each piece. I shake my head.
"No, I think he is the desert version of Martha fucking Stewart and he is carving some center pieces for our dinner party."
"We're having a dinner party?"
Andy tisks behind me.

Lou has finished cutting and is now braiding the three pieces into one. It becomes apparent after he has them setting at his feet as he works the last one.
"No shit... shoes, you're making shoes out of cactus?"

I watch him as he slips them on and ties the braided husk. Then he scoops up the other pair and casually walks back and drops them at my feet. The rock he drops in front of Andy.
"Did you see how I did that?"
Andy nods.
"We will go and get two more barrel cactus and you guys can make your own."

I put my cactus flip flops on and tie the braided husk. It's like walking in a watermelon. I don't need to tell you how stupid I feel walking around the desert in this robe and slippers. But as I spot the next barrel cactus, I have to give kudos to Lou. Not the first time he has come through, not the last.

Once we have two more cactus for the boys to work on we drop them off and head up to higher ground for a look around. No one is trying to pin down what has happened and how, where we are or how we get back to the ship. No need to start a panic at the beginning of this "trip". It will all work out... I hope.

It is tough going up the side of the small rise. We will need to get some real shoes or boots before we go to far. I crest the top and Lou steps up beside me. We hear the muffled scream of a woman and we immediately crouch down.

Below us about a mile out is a silver snake of a river. At a wide bend there is a lot of action. Men on horseback, a wagon, and debris in the water and on the banks. Whatever happened here happened before we appeared. The men on horseback have done their worse from what we can see. There are bodies in the river and in the rough terrain.

We lay in the rough of the summit and wait until the men ride off. Whatever they have done, it is over and within minutes they are gone. The wagon is in flames, the horses have scattered... those they haven't taken with them. I don't say it, but I think those were Indians.

"Apache."
"Goddamnit will you stop that."
"What?"
"Reading my fucking mind."
"I can't read your mind, Nancy. I can see. I have eyes."
"Oh yeah, well try to read what I'm thinking."
"Fuck you, too."

We stay on the rise for a moment or two, scanning the horizon for any more of these men on horseback. We turn and head back down the hill in our cactus shoes. It is more like skiing than walking.
"Don't mention the Indians."
"They'll find out before too long."
"Yeah, but we don't need to put them in overload. Just keep it between us."

When we get back to the boys, they are all in cactus shoes and each of them have a hand-sized piece of pulp they are sucking on.
"You get a lot of water out of these things." Antonelli says, chewing some of the pulp.
"We gotta go." I look at the Clarok, "and we have to take that thing with us."
"Well, that goes without saying." Andy says as he reaches down and grabs a handle. He lifts and just gets his side off the ground a little.
"Well hell, does this thing come with a set of wheels or something. This is going to suck if we have to haul it around by hand."
Ollie reaches down and gets a purchase, lifting the whole thing off the ground. Andy lets go of his side and Ollie swings it around and puts it up high on his back like a turtle.

"You got it, big guy?" Lou asks him.
He nods.
We all take the small hill that Lou and I had descended minutes earlier. Lou is behind Ollie to make sure the Clarok does not hit the dirt.

We take the hill and the boys survey the scene.
"Nice fire, eh" Mike says through a mouthful of cactus. Andy nods.
"Yeah, but what's burning."
"Whatever is was it's already burned up."

Antonelli shields his eyes from the light, "Are those bodies?"
The group falls silent and we start down the hill. It is hard going with the cactus on our feet. Half way to the river we help carry the Clarok. Even though Ollie is a bull of a man, the heavy Clarok is more than he can shoulder. By the time we reach the bank of the river we are all exhausted.
"Well this isn't going to work... dragging this fucking thing around." I say, throwing my hand off the handle as the rest of them set it in on the bank.

"We can't very well leave it here, can we." Chris says, dropping to the sandy bank.
"We need to hide it somewhere." Mike says, walking over to something sticking out of the water where it meets the bank.
"I think it's too early to stash it. We need to make sure we can find it and no one else can." Lou says, watching Mike as he reaches into the water and pull up his find.

Mike stands there and looks at it for a moment, then turns and holds it up.
"I found an arrow."

Andy, Chris, and Ollie look at it for a moment and then Mike starts back over.
"An arrow? Like a bow and arrow arrow?" Andy asks.
"What other kind of arrow is there?" Chris remarks.

We need to get across this river. By the look of the current it isn't too deep. Where the water ripples is where we cross. It is knee deep at this point, except for an underwater chasm that Lou jumps over and I am lucky enough to find. The water feels nice and I am reluctant to climb out when the hand is extended to me.

Once we are all on the other side, along with the Clarok, we walk to the smoldering heap that had been a buckboard. There are three dead men, young... twenty-somethings. The tops of their heads are a bloody mess.
"Oh... SHIT, these guys are... they don't have any... " Antonelli can't seem to find the words.
"Scalped." Lou tells him as he strips the boots off of one of them.
"Scalped? Who the hell would have scalped them?"
Mike pulls another arrow out of the grass, "Indians?"
"That didn't take long." Lou says, yanking the pants off of the shoeless guy.

We find four men near the burned out wagon, another in the water. Antonelli realizes the "musical chairs" aspect of the situation and goes in the water after the larger of the gentlemen and begins to remove the man's boots. Mike, myself, and Ollie do the same, leaving Andy standing there with nothing to do.

"These are uniforms." Mike holds up the pants he just removed.
"You better rinse those in the river." Lou tells him. Mike just looks at him.
"Your man, he shit his pants. You got a little staining there."
Mike turns the pants around and then lets go of them like they are on fire.
"You better pick them up before Andy takes them."
Mike uses two fingers and then climbs into the river with his new pants and starts to rinsing.

My comment didn't escape Andy.
"What the hell am I supposed to wear?" He looks passed the burning wagon for any more bodies.
"You better look."

It takes some doing, but we end up with pants, some shirts and uniform tops, and boots that fit and some that don't. Lou finds a machete in the pile of burned wagon. He tears some of the bloodier clothing into strips and wraps them around the missing handle. With a couple of quick hits, he cuts the top of the smaller boots at the toe and they are wearable for Ollie, Chris, and me. Mikes boots fit fine.
Andy is still in his robe looking in the rubble when we are all dressed in our massacre clothing.

"ANDY... what did you find?"
He stands with his hands on his hips. Even though his back is turned you can tell he has that look on his face. We all walk over to where he is standing and look down. There is a light blue bonnet and a pile of what must be the screamer's dress.

Lou picks it up and gives it the once over.
"That is some good fabric, like what blue jeans used to be made of." He tosses it to Andy, who lets it fall to the ground.
"Put it on... let's get out of here before those Indians decide to come back."

Andy looks down and then up at Lou, "You put the fucking thing on. I'm not wearing it. And what about these "Indians"? What the hell are you talking about... Indians? Like red-skins? That's ridiculous."

Mike walks over to some of the paper debris that must have been thrown to the ground when they tossed the wagon. He picks of a piece of it and looks for a moment, then runs back to us.

"LOOK... look at this, look." He is out of breath, almost sounds frightened. I take the paper and Mike points to the date.
"What is it?" Andy asks.

I hand it to him and the others gather around to see.
"It's a bill of lading. That must have been a supply wagon."
Andy looks for a moment, then shrugs.
"So?"
"So look at the date."

He looks, along with the rest of the guys. Lou looks up at me, already knowing.
Andy reads the date outloud, "October 18th, 1881."
Antonelli's palm comes up to his forehead and all of a sudden it looks as though he has climbed out of a car crash or something.
"Oh my God... oh God." He sits down in the grass, "It worked, it really worked."
The paper is passed from hand to hand. Not a word is spoken.
Andy looks at Lou, "We are in the year 1881? Is that possible?"
"It is what it is." Lou tells him.

There is silence for a short time, and then we hear the horses whinny. There are three of them about two hundred yards up river. They have returned to drink.
With this new development Lou springs into action.

"Andy, get some clothes on. Jake, you and Ollie grab the Clarok and get it away from this shit in case those Indians do come back. Mike, you and Chris come help me get these horses."

Andy picks up the dress once more. "You're kidding, right?" He holds up the denim frock. "I'll just wear what I have on."
Lou doesn't even turn around as he heads toward the horses.
"And stick out like a soar thumb? No, we need to blend in as best we can. It's only until we can find something better. Hell, we don't even know where we are yet."

Andy's head sinks between his shoulders. "And who in the fuck made you king of this expedition?" He says under his breath. I just look at him and smile.
"You want to ask him that for real? Just put it on. You get first dibs on the next clothes we find."

Within a short while the boys have the horses gathered. As we decide which direction we are going to head, there is a strange sound of clattering metal. Before long we can hear a harmonica being played, interupted only by the sound of a song being sung.

We draw the horses back away from the river and try to hide as best we can. Before long a man appears, leading a donkey. He is on the other side of the river. He stops playing the harmonica and now all we hear is the song.

"Seed are buried deep deep deep." He lifts a pack off the animal and lets go of the reigns.
"In the soil they sleep sleep sleep." Looking in both directions, he settles on the smoldering ruins of the wagon.
"Yellow sunbeams bright bright bright." He slings the pack on his own back and starts across the river where we had crossed earlier.
"Raindrops falling light light light." When he reaches the other side, he jumps across where the water becomes deep and then sets about getting the animal across.
"Gentle breezes blow blow blow." He gets the reigns drawn tight and then gives an encouraging yell and pulls the donkey with a yank and it leaps the deep void and climbs out on the other side.
"Little seeds begin to grow."

As he approaches our position, Lou jabs me.
"He's no threat."
Lou stands, "Hey there, fella."
The man reaches one arm behind his head and comes out with a scattergun. Lou immediately puts his hands up, a funny look on his face.
Obviously the man is a threat.